Toyota Buys General Motors

toyota In a move that even the most inside sources didn’t see coming, Toyota this morning announced a deal in which they would purchase General Motors for a stunning $42 billion in cash.  This purchase has already been approved by GM’s board, as well as the UAW. 

Perhaps the most incredible piece of information is that Toyota will be stopping production of every new GMC, Chevy, Pontiac, Saturn, Buick, Hummer, Cadillac, and Saab.  Each one of GM’s plants will be shut down for good by the end of the month.  According to a Toyota executive who asked not to be named, it just makes more sense this way.  Rather than lose money by continuing to build sub-par products, they’ll just stop production altogether.  This course of action will, in fact, save money.

As for the UAW, each member is accepting a buyout of $1 million.  After all, they deserve it, according to union officials.  It’s hard work earning a big paycheck for sitting around in the “job bank” week after week.  Nothing short of 7 figures is a reasonable payoff for these folks, and that’s what they’ll get.

GM won’t die completely, however.  Several of the best names will carry over to Toyota lines.  For example, the Corvette will be reborn as the top Prius trim level.  Power will be increased to 150 HP, enough to produce a bit of smoke from the front tires.  The Silverado and Sierra will be upscale trim levels for the Camry.  The Sierra will, of course, be the professional grade, off-road Camry, complete with mud tires and skid plates. 

As for those with current GM products, you are not in so much luck.  With the GM brands disappearing, you can expect resale value to plummet faster than a brand new Kia.  And since Toyota will be selling off all the current GM dealerships for scrap metal, warranty repairs will be nonexistent.  In other words, if you can find someone to take that new Avalanche off your hands, now is the time.  Toyota is the future, and the future is now.

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8 Responses to “ Toyota Buys General Motors”

  1. Oh no!!! Haha
  2. Al, I knew that once you started working for Toyota GM’s days were numbered.
  3. Gotta love April 1st…. wish it were true, cause most GM products aren’t even as good as a kia and certainly shouldn’t be more expensice than…. ah well
  4. I love you people who bash American-made vehicles. One day when you wake up to find yourselves working in a sweatshop for $0.50 an hour and living in a van down by the river, you will wish you had supported American commerce a little more. How does anyone expect our economy to rebound when people like you do not “buy American?” I have lived my entire life just outside of Detroit and watching the state dry up the way it has been is painful. All of those people losing their jobs, their homes, their families. All because ignorant people like you think there is something wrong with American built cars. It is not just affecting those on the GM, Ford, and Chrysler payrolls! Every business that supported those industries is failing also. All of the steel mills who provided the raw materials, the companies who manufactured the parts, the trucking companies who transferred the materials and parts in between processes, the restaurants and stores where those people used to buy their lunches, they are all drying up.
    Do you know that GM currently offers 30 vehicles that get over 30 MPG? Do you know that GM, Ford, and Chrysler vehicles come with more ’standard’ options than their foreign counterparts for equal cost? Has anyone ever seen a foreign car from the 40s or 50s? Or even before that? Does anyone stop to wonder why? I personally have owned and driven hundreds of cars, trucks, and vans in a multitude of different makes and models from domestic to foreign and cannot find any quality trends based on brand. Yes, there have been terrible models such as the late 90s into 2000 Dodge Avenger and the Dodge Stratus, but has anyone ever owned a Mitsubishi Eclipse or a Hyundai Tiburon? Then you know what cheap pieces of crap they are. EVERY car manufacturer has had a badly built, badly designed failure of a car. The American auto manufacturers have just been around longer; they have been the pioneers of the era. They have done all the trial and error right here in front of the entire country where we can all see every mistake they have ever made. The foreign companies have just ridden on our coattails and learned from our mistakes so that they would not have to make as many of their own. They have not developed and tested as many new technologies and innovations as our Big Three; they have not gone out on a limb to be the first to do anything. Yes a Honda Civic may run for 200,000 miles but then so will my lawn mower, which is what a Civic’s technology equates to.
    Opinions aside, the fact of the matter is if we do not support our nation’s industries you might as well change our name now. How does “Big Tokyo” or “West Japan” sound?
  5. Well, between my wife and I, we have owned 11 cars. 1 Geo ( really a Toyota ), 1 Nissan, 3 Hondas, 2 Toyotas, 3 Fords, and a Lincoln. So that’s 4 American cars and 7 Japanese. I buy the car that best fits my needs, regardless of what badge is on it, or where it was built.

    For what it’s worth, many “Japanese” cars are built right here on American soil, by American workers. At the same time, many “American brand” cars are built on Mexican soil, by Mexican workers. How bout that patriotism now?

    My current ride is a Honda Civic Hybrid, which I average 50 MPG in. Show me an American car that does that, handles as well, drives as smoothly, has as nice of an interior, and with a similar reliability record at a similar price, and I’ll buy one. Wait what’s what? The domestic brands have NOTHING even remotely similar? That’s right. Our Big 2.5 decided not to innovate… for DECADES… all while our friendly Japanese neighbors moved forward. That’s the price for laziness.

    When (if) the Big 2.5 comes around and makes competitive cars at competitive prices, then people will buy. It didn’t get broken overnight, and it certainly won’t be fixed overnight.

    As for quality I’m sorry you’re confused. Drive a 5 year old Honda Accord, and then drive a 5 year old Chevy Malibu. If you can’t tell the difference then I can’t help you. The Malibu will feel “worn out”, disgusting, and poorly built. The Accord will feel, well, like an Accord. Pretty much the same as when it was new off the showroom. That’s what people buy. That’s what they pay more for.

  6. hmm interesting because i drive a “1993 lexus GS 300″ of course made by toyota from the 1993’s and i make 31-42 mpg on 4 door sedan and its never broken down on me, from 1993, image how better the newer ones are, anything from toyota is new, they are also testing so people might think o is not sporty enough like the bmw or oh it does not have enough hp but at the end of the year compare savings, thats right weather the toyota will give you better gas mileage or not, you always and always save at the mechanics because i can honestly tell you i been an owner of a lexus for 2 years and never a problem, i average a 450miles on a full tank, i average 32 on the city and 42 on the highway. the companies that check wont admit it they will say 21-27mpg, go put $50 and tell me next time you pump gas how much you driven last full tank, its incredible, thats why GM is failing, because no matter what they make, all peices of crap, no matter how hip or how much hp, its all a trick to get people to buy their junk, they had decades to get better and experience and learn and GM didint learn, therefore GM will be history and toyota will keep rising and owning the world.
  7. GM is making the best cars they ever have right now, and who? gets the best gas mileage out of them all? GM! My mother has a 93 Acura integra, it beaks down all the time and she has spent a fortune on parts and labor. I currently drive a 93 jeep cherokee with 180,000 on it and i have not changed the oil on it in 25,000 miles and it still runs strong and the paint is flawless, my mothers paint is fucked up! I also have two Trans Ams the run great and don’t cost me a fortune on parts, not to mention the the legacy those cars have. I’m sure you will tell your kids how great your Corolla was that you made payments on. I can’t wait to pick up the Chevy Volt b/c not one fucking jap company can get 100mpg, or maybe a new vette that is still under a 100,000 and is faster than a Lamborghini. Whoever wrote above about our failures and the foreign companies gaining on them is right, but how unpatriotic can any of you fools be to not support the big 3. By the way I live in San Francisco and thought it was just here with all these yuppies driving there Prius’s, but I guess not, I suppose your all losers and think that GM is just going to fail now that the shares are below $5. I have news for you. Watch and learn and say to yourself when you go to the pump, “I should have listened to that guy from the blog on GM”, CAUSE YOUR HONDAS AND TOYOTAS WONT BE ABLE TO KEEP UP IN 2010.!
  8. I’m as excited as anyone about the Volt, and I think I’ve made that clear on this site. The Corvette is also one of my favorites - an absolutely ridiculous performance bargain.

    If only the rest of GM’s lineup was half as good as these cars, they wouldn’t be in the problem they’re in today. For what it’s worth, I *want* GM and Ford to prosper. Years of bad decisions are making that awfully tough though……

    Free enterprise is American. Smart companies succeeding is American. Supporting a business with extremely sub-par products just because the central offices are in Detroit has nothing to do with being unpatriotic. Remember, many of “Detroits finest” are actually built in Canada or Mexico. Think about that for a sec.

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